For Martin Todd, the most frustrating thing about having dementia is not being able to drive a car.
The self-confessed ‘car nut’ ran a successful car sales business for many years and losing his independence was an unexpected blow.
“The day I was diagnosed I was told then and there that I couldn’t drive home. That was the thing that stood out for me at the time. I was just 63 and I didn’t think I’d have to rely on other people for another 20 years or so,” he says.
The news came as a big shock to Martin, his wife Lynda and their family. For the first few months, they tried to digest what had happened and Martin says that their initial response was to hide away from everyone.
“It was just awful - just horrific. We didn’t want to face it. It was so terribly frustrating – one minute we were having a great life and the next we were facing this!” Martin says.
After a very difficult time, which included having to sell their successful business, Martin and Lynda asked their doctor who they could turn to for support. The answer was Dementia Canterbury, a not-for-profit that provides information and practical help to people with dementia and their families.
“You don’t have to go through dementia alone. There are so many people that care and so many other people that are going through this. Don’t lock yourself away - ask for help.”
Lynda’s main concern was what Martin was going to do to fill his days. He had suffered from depression post-earthquake and Lynda did not want to see him go down that road again. Through Dementia Canterbury, she discovered that there were plenty of interesting activities in the community to keep him busy.
Martin now takes part in a memory group to keep his brain active and attends a support group for people with younger onset dementia. He also goes swimming regularly and has completed a life story and genealogy book to refer to – all with the support of Dementia Canterbury.
“All of the activities have helped tremendously and the Dementia Canterbury team have been really understanding – they’ve been a real brick for us. We’ve got a social worker who keeps in touch with us about everything that’s available that could be beneficial for Martin,” Lynda says.
The couple wishes that they’d asked for help sooner and wants to encourage other families to talk about what they’re going through and to utilise what’s available. They welcome the move by Dementia Canterbury - part of the Canterbury Brain Collective - to establish a new facility where more people with neurological conditions will be able to seek support.
“You don’t have to go through dementia alone. There are so many people that care and so many other people that are going through this. Don’t lock yourself away - ask for help.” Lynda says.